The first time I heard of The Hudson River Sloop Clearwater, I was 13 in a community center, being handed a flyer about “Queerwater”- a 3 day youth program that I was just barely too young for. I hadn’t given it much thought, considering I couldn’t attend, so I forgot about the program and the boat.
Flash forward one year, I was 14 in the same community center, now receiving a presentation about Queerwater. This time I was old enough, so I hesitantly applied to try something new. I had no idea if I would like it or not, but I decided I might as well go, what’s the worst that could happen? Apparently the worst thing that could happen was sunburn, because I absolutely loved it. I loved the community on board, the acceptance and willingness to learn and teach. I remember sitting in a circle with my group, showing each other knots and laughing when something went horribly wrong with them. Usually learning felt stressful and scary and “life or death”, but I realized that the whole weekend that I was on the Clearwater I was learning everything, and yet it wasn’t as daunting as education had usually made me feel. As soon as I got home I was anticipating the next time I would be able to get back to the sloop.
I continued to attend Queerwater, until I was old enough to volunteer. The dates worked out so that as soon as I returned home from visiting family, I could disappear to the Hudson for a week before getting bussed off to school. So I packed a bag and practically sprinted to the boat. The first thing I did when I got there was learn how to teach education stations, because a few short hours after I arrived, an education sail was set to happen. I was only on board for 5 hours, and I was already about to sail. Of course I wasn’t handed a dockline and told to go for it, there were much more experienced crew who really ran the show, but I still felt trusted and knew at that moment that the fast paced environment of the Clearwater was the right thing for me. I had an amazing, fantastic, beautiful, exciting week volunteering, time flew by, and I learned that the Hudson was something I loved.
After volunteering I felt ready to apply to become a trainee. Doing so meant I would be aboard for an entire month and be able to learn everything I wanted about sailing. I had never been more excited applying to a job. It meant I had to leave my original summer job earlier than intended, but it was so worth it. I would much rather be standing under the hot sun on a boat than stuck in a hot, stuffy room serving food.
The month of August was the most rewarding experience of my life, even if it was a bit stressful at times. I had the opportunity to meet some incredible people, learn to be a relief engineer and lead education stations during one of Clearwater’s other youth programs, Young Men at the Helm. I had finally made it to the other side of a youth program, no longer a participant, but a member of the crew. Being a trainee was different from any other experience I had on board. I was finally involved in almost every part of the boat. I was a part of maintenance, compost bucket runs, I ventured under the sole boards, changed a few head buckets, pumped the bilges, tucked myself into sails for the night, handled docklines, was on bowwatch, managed the jib, even learned a little about the engine. I was sore and tired most days (seriously I did not know all your muscles could feel that stiff) but I had never felt better. I walked away with a happiness I hadn’t felt before, and a sun dyed green shirt.
I keep getting drawn back to the boat for the community. I have never before experienced such acceptance than when I was on the Clearwater. More than just basic acceptance of my identity but for every aspect of my personality. I have changed a lot since I first stepped foot on board, but every change has allowed me to be happier and more comfortable in myself. From being a participant, to volunteering, to becoming a trainee, I can honestly say that Clearwater changed my life. The youth programs gave me strong friendships and a group of people I could look up to, volunteering made me realize what I could do if I committed time to my interests, and being a trainee allowed me to gain a comfort in myself that I didn’t have before, because teaching a group of strangers how to shanty after successfully pulling yourself onto the gaff (most of the time), does great things for your self-confidence. I have been able to carry the skills I’ve gained from Clearwater into almost every aspect of my life.
I am so incredibly grateful to have experienced Clearwater in so many different forms, and I’m excited to see what the future holds, because I certainly don’t plan on stopping now.
About Taylor:
Taylor McAstocker is a highschool senior from New York. He loves Stage Management, Theater, and the Clearwater; and believes they are all more closely related than they first appear. Taylor has become increasingly involved with the environment and its preservation since his first interaction with the Hudson River. Taylor first came to Clearwater as a Queerwater participant, coming back each year until they aged out, and then returned as a volunteer in 2024, and in 2025 as a crew member. He loves making clothing, sign language, music, and is looking forward to studying stage management in college.
For almost sixty years, Clearwater has nurtured a deep and abiding love for the Hudson River because of the generosity of donors like you. Help us keep the Clearwater magic alive and the sloop sailing for the next generation.
